#Strange

"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."

"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"

"I have a 12:34 representational time dance. I do it at 3:33 every other Tuesday (twice a day). If you’d like to participate in my choreographed dance routine, bring a football helmet and a half empty can of tuna (keeps the stray cats away, because I perform in a gritty, grimy downtown alley)."

"Someone asked me what the key to being a good frontman was, and I think having a sense of humor about it is pretty near the top of that list. It's a very strange place to be in, and I don't take that role too seriously."

"If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?"

"I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink."

"She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her."

"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."

"Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory."

"What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arriving? Love."

"Those who are not shocked when they first come across quantum theory cannot possibly have understood it."

"When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls."

"Almost everything strange washes up near Miami."

"A crate full of discreet would appear to be empty. But it’s not. It’s full of my love for you."

"I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover."

"I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave."

"33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins."

"My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled—or told him I loved him."

"I am the three minutes of 180 seconds, and I don’t do refills. I’m a lover, not a farmer."

"Not only is the Universe stranger than we think, it is stranger than we can think."