#Strange

"Almost everything strange washes up near Miami."

"01210 is a pyramid, & worms move like handicapped snakes. My dream belongs in a wheelchair, because I just spilled coffee all over my sleep."

"For me, I really love 'Tim and Eric' and 'Dr. Steve Brule' and a lot of the Adult Swim shows, so I like strange, weird, sometimes slightly upsetting humor."

"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"

"When the clock reads 3:00, I don’t call it three o’clock, I call it three hundred, and I remember the Spartans. At 3:01, however, I remember what I was doing at 2:59, and I get back to it."

"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."

"If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?"

"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."

"What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor."

"She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love."

"On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars."

"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."

"Love is the only gift that’s acceptable to give away as soon as you get it."

"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."

"A coffin would make a great suitcase. If I folded it neatly, I’ll bet I could pack in all my love for you."

"I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral."

"Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time."

"You can’t buy love, it’s true. However, I am offering mine for rent. Buy one year and get the next six months at half price."

"This is the strangest life I have ever known."

"We rode the merry-go-round like a couple of lovers. We weren’t though; we were just two horse enthusiasts from two different worlds (I think she was from Mars)."