More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"I wish the masses of people would all follow my advice, because I'd throw it off a cliff."
"I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy."
"They say you fear what you don't understand. Maybe that's why every time I'm in South Florida, and I hear someone talking in Spanish, I always shit my pants."
"I always appear smarter when I dress up in my giant nipple costume. I know this because I'll overhear people say things like, 'At least he's not a complete boob."