To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex with a girl who has no stomach or legs, but does have an overactive sex drive."
"To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex with a girl who has no stomach or legs, but does have an overactive sex drive."
"I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy."
"This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So I told them to roll over and go back to sleep."
"I don't like customer service, because I don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too."
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt."