More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"I'm so excited. I just bought a new file cabinet, some manila folders, some sticky note pads, and a few highlighters, and I think I'm finally ready to enter into organized crime."
"My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun."
"If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."
"This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So I told them to roll over and go back to sleep."