More quotes by George Carlin

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
"Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain."