More quotes by George Carlin

"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"The planet is fine. The people are fucked."
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."