"They call alcohol spirits, because it’s the spirit turned liquid. Would you drink my soul if you knew I’d use it to get inside of you? After all, most men buy women alcohol so they can get inside them too."
"Networking is like fishing. Just give some beer and a boat and I’ll be in business."
"She said love her or be tortured by her. I replied, "Torture would be less painful."She didn't realize that I'm a true romantic."
"It was a cold night, so I got a fire going. I lit a scented candle."
"I'm asexual, though occasionally I'm attracted to inanimate objects. Mainly tube-shaped objects."
"The naked truth is anything but naked. But it will be soon enough, if I keep giving it alcohol."