#Alcohol

"As the ice melted, we fell in love—slowly. I just wish the ice were in two glasses of vodka, and not surrounding our bodies."

"She likes her wine white, and that’s how I like my clam chowder. So chuggable!"

"I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink."

"There was a tacit understanding between them that 'liquor helped'; growing more miserable with every glass one hoped for the moment of relief."

"I can hold my alcohol, just like I’m a wine bottle. I dance as fluid as glass, and my heart shatters just as easily."

"Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them."

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

"I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance."

"I used the boos, and not the booze, as motivation. That led to applause, which I drank up like an alcoholic. I need a refill."

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."

"My mind may be sober, but my confidence is high!"

"Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!"

"She brews a bruise on my heart, and drinks it like a beer. She calls it love, but she would, because she’s drunk on my torment."

"I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels."

"When I die, remember to remove my body from the cooler before you start making the hunch punch. But by all means, do get drunk on my memory."

"Too many abused beers have suffered in the name of networking. Let us find a better way to mix torture and business."

"I love you the way ice melts in vodka—slowly, seamlessly, and invisibly. It’s a feel-good feeling whether you see it or not."

"I just invented a device that eliminates vice. It looks like a bottle of booze, only it’s empty, because I just drank it."

"They call alcohol spirits, because it’s the spirit turned liquid. Would you drink my soul if you knew I’d use it to get inside of you? After all, most men buy women alcohol so they can get inside them too."

"I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer."