To be invisible, paint yourself with the direct shade of zer... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"We no longer know each other. Hell, I barely know myself these days. I brush my teeth and look in the mirror and think, “Who is this guy taking care of my oral hygiene?"

"If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now."

"I was in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky. I would have held up my index finger, but I wasn't in love that long."

"All thoughts, secret or spoken, belong in a coffee table book written in Braille, so you can really feel the emotions."

"I used the boos, and not the booze, as motivation. That led to applause, which I drank up like an alcoholic. I need a refill."