To be invisible, paint yourself with the direct shade of zer... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Everyone’s different, and in that way everyone’s the same. Stand out by sitting down. Try my love seat—it’s made for two people, so you can be comfortably obese."

"When I lost her I gained the future, because she was my past, and she freed me to become who I was born to be."

"The thirstiest bird is surely the swallow. My love is so fluid I’ll bet drinking it would give you the gift of flight."

"I’m more of a journalist than anyone in the mainstream media, and I write fiction. More than fiction, I write absurd nonsense surrealism, and my work has more truth."

"I was in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky. I would have held up my index finger, but I wasn't in love that long."