More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If there’s gold in it, then the mine is mine. And if there’s no coffee in it, then the cup is yours."
"Life goal: Swim in a lake full of soup, and instead of bathing suits we’ll wear Ziploc bags while we make love like we’re feeding the homeless."
"77 degrees in the fall feels cold, and 77 degrees in the spring feels hot. That’s why I’m selling year-round-nudity for half-price."
"I always wear gloves when I wash my hands. That’s also how I make love, and if you buy now I’ll throw in an extra bar of soap for FREE."
"I like my coffee like Colfax Avenue mixed with Atlantic Boulevard, and if you're buying then I'm driving. Let's sip this romance slowly."