More quotes by Steven Wright

"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying."
"I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography."
"I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things."
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."