More quotes by Steven Wright

"I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things."
"I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it."
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."
"I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography."
"What's another word for thesaurus?"