"When I was young, I was 13 going on 31. Then when I was 30 going on 31, I was 30 going on 29. Now I’m in love and I’ve lost all sense of time—and all the rest of my sense."
"The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special."
"Why pay for an undesirable outcome with someone else? For the same money, you could have paid me to stay at home and do nothing."
"I’ve changed, and she’s changed, but we haven’t changed together. We were in separate dressing rooms the whole time we dated."
"I have a deep respect for shallow pockets. They keep politicians honest."
"Most scars are invisible. Damn transparent knives. Does anything cut deeper than love? I need to get some new body armor."