#Nonsense

"Well, Diotallevi and I are planning a reform in higher education. A School of Comparative Irrelevance, where useless or impossibe courses are given. The school's aim is to turn out scholars capable of endlessly increasing the number of unnecessary subjects."

"If one unlabeled bottle holds nonfat milk, what does the second unlabeled bottle contain? If you answered “Whole milk” then you’re obviously not ready to receive a jug of my love. So I’ll just pour it in someone else’s coffee."

"I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success."

"Take care of the sense and the sounds will take care of themselves."

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"

"I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendously proud, considering Caesar is the guy who burned down the Library of Alexandria."

"Love gives you wings. Icarus and the Challenger both had wings, and so did my first love letter, after I folded it up and flung it at my crush."

"To make my meal in a box taste better, I decided to tweak the logo, rather than the ingredients."

"Russian humor is to adapt or make some sense or nonsense out of the insanity of their lives."

"Take some more tea,"the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly."I've had nothing yet,"Alice replied in an offended tone, "so I can't take more.""You mean you can't take less,"said the Hatter: "it's very easy to take more than nothing.""Nobody asked your opinion,"said Alice."

"In the land of Gibberish, the man who makes sense, the man who speaks clearly, clearly speaks nonsense."

"When it comes to Schopenhauer, I think I need a To-Go box."

"Love lets us ride on its back as if it were a camel. But you’ve got to water it, or it won’t grow into a healthy rose bush."

"Nonsense is that which does not fit into the prearranged patterns which we have superimposed on reality...Nonsense is nonsense only when we have not yet found that point of view from which it makes sense."

"I want to go to Martha’s Vineyard. I have an aunt named Martha. And an uncle by that name. Neither one is related to me."

"I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines."

"A little nonsense now and then, Is cherished by the wisest men."

"Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large."

"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."

"I’m more of a journalist than anyone in the mainstream media, and I write fiction. More than fiction, I write absurd nonsense surrealism, and my work has more truth."