You are allowed to think whatever you want at Emory, so long... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment."

"I mined my mind, and I found no love. My heart is where excavation yields gold, and if you dig me as much as I dig you, we can both get rich."

"I miss her like 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, and 5 misses 8. When we made love, our two bodies formed one spiral that seemed to cycle to the sky."

"I keep water in my pockets, as portable fish tanks. My love letters often get soggy with sentimentality."

"I think a funny picture would have a caption that read, “Believe in yourself,” with an accompanying image of a wilting flower."