"You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time."
"What's another word for thesaurus?"
"I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things."
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film."