You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fo... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"Love is like a portable lamp/sex toy. The world calls those flashlights, but I’m much more romantic."

"I am the broth of love. Make soup to me."

"The difference between a karate chop and a high five is the same as the difference between a knife and a paddle. My love can slice like a piece of pizza."

"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"

"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."