"I want to write a song about the only girl I’ve ever loved. And the chorus will say something like, “I really want to see you tonight, so I hope you leave your blinds open."
"My nickname isn’t Scarface—it’s Scarf Ace. I make knitted neck warmers like I make love—one grandmother at a time."
"To become one who believes two become one, you need love in your life."
"I spray-paint my underwear gold, because it makes me feel like a winner. When two people are in love, one is always in second place."
"I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before."
"I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover."