"The difference between a karate chop and a high five is the same as the difference between a knife and a paddle. My love can slice like a piece of pizza."
"Love is like a portable lamp/sex toy. The world calls those flashlights, but I’m much more romantic."
"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."
"In a bookstore you can find me in the romance section, because I’m not a lover, I’m a reader."
"Me: On time. Love: Late. Death: Early. Seriously, why are you late?"
"I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover."