"The difference between a karate chop and a high five is the same as the difference between a knife and a paddle. My love can slice like a piece of pizza."
"She’ll come to love me or she won’t. I’m a fisherman, not a hunter."
"My nickname isn’t Scarface—it’s Scarf Ace. I make knitted neck warmers like I make love—one grandmother at a time."
"You can’t buy love, it’s true. However, I am offering mine for rent. Buy one year and get the next six months at half price."
"Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate). It tastes like love, only not so focused on just one ingredient."
"I’m always the last in love by exactly one person."