#knowledge-of-self

"Death is Opening Night Everything's that happened yesterday is a rehearsal for everything that will happen..."

"Six Minus Three Degrees of Stupidation [10w] Three degrees of stupid:stupidstupid squaredstupid stupid stupid"

"Diet and Exorcise [10w] The most effective diet is hanging around with fat people."

"Children Learn to Love and Hate A child understands love by three months and hate by three years.How the child processes that understandingwill shape his character for the next seventy."

"Toasts During the hymeneal repast,The guest stood silent as toasts were cast.The Best Man bore witness to a dozen years pastThe Bridesmaid joked about a relationship that wouldn’t lastThe groom listened and held the hand of the brideKnowing his real toast was buttered on the other side."

"Unless you're a lesbian... [10w] Feminism is not a sustainable position without giving up love."

"New York Haiku "My monthly rent checkis more than you will make inyour fucking lifetime."

"Keep Your Day Job Bitch [10w] + {Couplet} If you've guessed that I'm blessed,augury ain't your strawberry."

"Today's Affirmation [10w] "I'll unplug myself from myselfand plug into something higher."

"Writer's Block [10w] Every writer's block is surrounded by a million other possibilities."

"Rainbows and Gratuitous Violence Whenever I see a rainbow, I want to punch a penguin in the face."

"Infinite Promise The carrot of infinite promise always dangles just inches beyond our noses.The trick is to surreptitiously switch that carrot for a zucchini."

"Money [10w] The root of all evil has a well earned reputation."

"Child on a Swing Haiku Child screeches like birdas swing reaches for heaven.Stars fill his pocket."

"Make It Happen!!! [10w] Don't wait for someone to fall in love with you."

"Where the Fuck is Waldo Even whens I finds Waldothat crackhead nigga won't cough up the five dollars he owes me."

"Ruth Whither thou goest, I will go ~as long as it's to the mall.I heard Dillard's is having an 80% off sale!"

"Nursing Homes [10w] Nursing homes are house haunted by the living and half-dead."

"Gifts Never look a gift horse in the assor a donkey in the mouth."

"Rationalize [10w] Man needs an apt aphorism to rationalize his ruthless actions."