#knowledge-of-self

"Tofino, Canada Haiku Free flowing clothes,Strumming guitar on the beach.Still my baggage follows me."

"How to Get Girls into Bed When I take a new girl out on a dateI tell them I slipped poison into their wineand the antidote is on my penis."

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"Free Will [20w] A bunch of amino acids bumping up together is not the scientific explanation of free will, it's grilling a hamburger."

"Forget [10w] {Couplet} Let's lift our goblet of regret,forgive, forsake and forget."

"Long Term Relationships [10w] Long term relationships should begin and end with a laugh."

"Now [10w] + {Couplet} Whether you Hurry up! or P r o c r a s t i n a t e,the NOW doesn't discriminate."

"Enough [10w] Enough's the only thing most people can't get enough of."

"The Freedom Paradox [10w] The act of protecting freedom is a violation of freedom."

"Love vs. Mental Illness [10w] Love, like mental illness, comes on graduallyand then suddenly."

"A Loaf of Challah Haiku A loaf of challah,a bottle of Rashi wine...For everything else there's Simply Manischewitz."

"Pitter Patter I love to hear the pitter patter of little feet ~as they unsuccessfully struggle to break free of my choke hold."

"Ranger Smith, Unemployement and the Possibility of Unperceived Existence If a tree falls in the forest and we're not there,do we fire the park ranger without making a sound?"

"A Frog in my Throat I had me frog in my throat.I swallowed hard and it croaked.Tasted like shit.Next time I get me a frog in my throat,my snooty French boyfriend better wash his dick with soap."

"The Dangers of Second Hand Smoke "Second hand smoke can be harmful becauseif you don't put out that fucking cigaretteI'm smashing your head open with this baseball bat."

"Somalia Haiku For a Somalian, heaven's drawing water from a well in an earthen pot."

"Love in the Afterlife [10w] Maybe I'll love you in the afterlife.This life, fuhgeddaboudit."

"The Bonds That Tie Weak bonding is sharing a common interest;strong bonding is sharing a common enemy."

"Prolific [10w] "Perhaps I'm prolific because I believe creativity can forestall death."

"New York City [10w] + [10w] + {Couplet} In fast-paced New York Cityeven the bubbling brooks babble.The Hudson and East River run rabid,skirting the rabble"