#masters

"Kill Buddha's Hairdresser [10w] I'd like to meet Buddha's hairdresser and shoot the prick."

"Beating the Language Like a Tom-Tom with a Mohawk "Actually, you will receive a free pre-owned gift with every purchase,irregardless of the awesome enormity of your stupidity."

"How Hard? [10w] Fuck’em hard enough to make their breasts move like Jell-O."

"Sometimes God is Drunk [10w] Satan's sudden appearance means God is on a drinking binge."

"Voodoo I'm phobic about pins and needles.Can I just stick a voodoo doll in the microwave?"

"Il Principe 2015: Lesson 1 - The Balls If humility is what's all important to your adversary,humble yourself before him,and you've got him by the balls."

"How to Get Girls into Bed When I take a new girl out on a dateI tell them I slipped poison into their wineand the antidote is on my penis."

"Amazon.com Amazon.com is the Church of Consumer Capitalismwhose ethics demands we know the price of everything,the value of absolutely nothing of true moral valueand most importantly ~Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought."

"Spreading Yourself Too Thin We tend to bite off more than we can chewbecause we've got big mouths."

"American Foreign Policy [10w] Foreign Policy requires dealing from the bottom of the deck."

"Why I Don't Carry a Cellphone [10w] It's a sign of servility you can be contacted anytime."

"Celebrity [10w] Celebrity is an insignificant zit on the surface of history."

"Hook 'em I know how to leave them satisfied and hungry for more ~with a carefully administered shot of insulin."

"Pitter Patter I love to hear the pitter patter of little feet ~as they unsuccessfully struggle to break free of my choke hold."

"How to End Racism [10w] The children of interracial marriages should look like panda bears."

"Lost Love [10w] + {Couplet} Lost love's the season of mists,Though they are gone, memory persists."

"Choice vs. Disease [10w] People who label lack of control a disease evade responsibility."

"Oppressor vs. Oppressed [10w] Love somtimes disintegrates into becoming the oppressor or the oppressed."

"Sublime Beauty When I shut my eyes, I can move mountains.When I open them, mountains can move me."

"Don’t Let the Dead Fish Fool You [10w] Even the eyes of a dead fish can reflect light."