#masters

"Brewing Poetry Comma sips between the lines,insights percolate into a 10w,a latte sonnet here, a cappuccino couplet there.A few smartass epiphanies,and something new in every brew.One final fix,voilà, the poem is fixed!I adore this caffeine,that alchemises the extraordinary into the routine,and vice versa with the unforseen.It turns blue aquamarine,and words into Mexican jumping beans."

"Deaf [10w] No man suffers deafness if he listens with his eyes."

"Why I Don't Carry a Cellphone [10w] It's a sign of servility you can be contacted anytime."

"Cutthroat Competition [10w] If competition becomes cutthroatit suggests business has become piracy."

"My Sweet Home, Alabama If it grows, it sticks, if it crawls, it bites,if it's outside, it rusts,if it's ornery, it fights,if it's a dawg, it barks.if its a possum, it feignsif it's a buggy, it squeals,if it's winter, it's summer,If it's slimy, it's eels.If it ain't Dixie, it won't do,so let's fix to get piss drunkand lynch us another nigger and Jew."

"The Universe Begins and Ends in Us If a telescope could see beyond the edges of the universe,we would see ourselves looking into a telescope trying to see beyond the edges of universe."

"Silly String [10w] Life' an absurdity radiating from a spine of silly string."

"Grease [10w] Relationships between people are rarely frictionless;they all need grease."

"That Jesus Kinda' Love [20w] What people do for the loveof their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,I wouldn't do for my fucking mother."

"Grave Dancing for Dummies {Couplet} They danced at my grave when I was buried at sea;with my haters drowned, I'm now totally free."

"Extra Crispy Deranged Free Range Chickens "Hey, I may be delusional in believing you're delusional,but one thinks for sure, the person who bothers to read this shit is delusional."

"Evil [10w] Believing you're evil sets into motion the wheels of self-destruction."

"Reflection Upon Reflection [10w] Don't look into a mirror in rooms full of mirrors."

"When in Doubt [10w] If your relationship becomes stagnant,set fire to her dress."

"The Poet's Job [10w] + {Couplet} Trigger memory, explode an emotion;the poet must create commotion....................................................­....................."

"Gained in Translation [10w] In timeless truths there's more gained than lost in translation."

"Reckless vs. Diet [10w] I live too recklessly to worry about low carb diets."

"Toasts During the hymeneal repast,The guest stood silent as toasts were cast.The Best Man bore witness to a dozen years pastThe Bridesmaid joked about a relationship that wouldn’t lastThe groom listened and held the hand of the brideKnowing his real toast was buttered on the other side."

"Self-Sufficiency [10w] When God closes a door,buy a Sawzall from Home Depot."

"Ruth Whither thou goest, I will go ~as long as it's to the mall.I heard Dillard's is having an 80% off sale!"