#masters

"Heaven [10w] Heaven’s not a destination ~it’s a way of processing life."

"Dangerous Food [10w] The world's most fattening foods are the ones you swallow."

"Men Be Forewarned! [20w] A man caught in the embrace of the wrong womanis like having his penis caught in a bear trap."

"Cinco de Mayo [10w] What day do the dead party to celebrate the living?"

"Love vs. Honeymoon [10w] Love is what truly begins when the honeymoon is over."

"Six Minus Three Degrees of Stupidation [10w] Three degrees of stupid:stupidstupid squaredstupid stupid stupid"

"Coffee Wisdom [2] For a real manthe only thing better than the scent of pussyis the smell of freshly ground coffee."

"Transubstantiation [10w] Transubstantiate digression into confessionand drink from poetry's Holy Grail."

"Writer's Block [10w] Every writer's block is surrounded by a million other possibilities."

"Rotaryrotatory In a universe composed wholly of revolving doors we'll have no need for gatekeepers or tipping doormen at Christmas."

"Fucking 3rd World Taxi Drivers [10w] Taxi drivers have ruined more vacations than tsunamis or earthquakes."

"Witchcraft vs. Wordcraft [10w] Covens of witches convened at their annual unconventional Coven’s Convention."

"Poetry as Conspiracy [10w] A poem is unspoken conspiracy between the reader and poet."

"Free Will [20w] A bunch of amino acids bumping up together is not the scientific explanation of free will, it's grilling a hamburger."

"Hidden [10w] God hides enough happiness in sadness to light the world."

"Scissor, Paper, Rock [10w] When time acts like a scissor,react like a rock."

"Washington State Motto Al-Ki. [25]America's most rainy, PC and annoying state."

"If You Can't Think, You've No Right to Speak [10w] Our Constitution's guarantee of free speech specifically excludes fucking idiots."

"Finding Fault [10w] + {Couplet} We find in others faultWhenever our wounds perceives salt."

"American Foreign Policy [10w] Foreign Policy requires dealing from the bottom of the deck."