#personal-growth

"Concatenate /kənˈkætəneɪt/to link together, as in a chain Do you concatenate cats by tying their tails together or do you just stuff the tail of one into the mouth of the other?Which method is better for yanking your chain?"

"Crest Toothpaste: Look, Ma, no cavities!... ...that'll really piss off the TSA agents looking for contraband."

"Library [10w] Hopefully, the library in the afterlife doesn't contain contemporary poetry."

"Income Tax [10w] A man's income tax return measures his integrity and stupidity."

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"Reflection Upon Reflection [10w] Don't look into a mirror in rooms full of mirrors."

"How they Measure Self-Worth in Fort Worth: Actual Texas Hooker Quote (the irony is priceless!) "Quit fucking acting like y'alls have me all figured outand don't you ever, EVER, lump me into the category of your trashy hooker girlfriend who charges $100/hr. for full service. Shit, I charge $200 minimum now ~because after the year of being at the bottom I know my self worth."

"♥ Love ♡ My heart skips a beat every time you walk through the door!It isn't love ~ I have an arrhythmia."

"Summer NYC ☜ʇɥƃᴉlɟ☞'ɥsɐp ɐ 'ɥsɐlds ∀˙ɥʇɐq ʍollɐɥs ɐ ʇɐ sʍoɹɹɐds ǝʞᴉlsɹǝlʞuᴉɹds ʇɐ uǝɹplᴉɥƆ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Children at sprinklerslike sparrows at a shallow bath.A splash, a dash, ☜flight☞"

"Lotto If I won a million bucks in Lotto,I'd give it to Charity.Charity gives great head."

"First Things First [10w] God created the possibility of absurditybefore he created man."

"Divine Write [10w] To write is to divinely dabblein infinite alternate realities."

"Rainbows and Gratuitous Violence Whenever I see a rainbow, I want to punch a penguin in the face."

"Sometimes in life we take a leap of faith. Remember, the leap is not about getting from one side to the other. It's simply about taking the leap....and trusting the air, the universal breath, will support your wings so that you may soar."

"The Moon The moon's a pearl among the starry gems,more cultured than the rest of them.A blemished diadem of charcoaled nightthat chaperons the sun back to the light."

"Celebrity [10w] Celebrity is an insignificant zit on the surface of history."

"Promising vs. Promises A promising life comes from a childhood without broken promises."

"Your inner strength is your outer foundation"

"Pizza vs. Internet Porn I'm still debating whether pizza or internet porn is the best thing ever invented.I've already jack-off three times while eating a double-cheese pepperoni piemaking my careful deliberations."

"Love's Reward [10w] + {Couplet} Love repaid is love's reward;recompense fair towards being adored."