#positive-motivation

"Origami Master If you're the greatest origami master in the worldmaybe I can find you a job folding napkins at a restaurant.I'm not making any promises."

"New York Haiku "My monthly rent checkis more than you will make inyour fucking lifetime."

"Lost Love [10w] + {Couplet} Lost love's the season of mists,Though they are gone, memory persists."

"Ferdinand VII of Spain {Couplet} He who can false loyalty feignshall sit twice upon the throne of Spain."

"Save the Last Dance for Me Life is a Hesitation Waltz danced to swing time measure. We're all given the free will to suspend our moving foot or slowly drag it during the halt."

"Ineffable Poetry A good poem goes beyond the physics of our world;it can't be quantified; it's an ineffable voice that speak directly to our soul,bypassing the laws of this world."

"God Created [10w] Lips were created to kiss and hands to make peace."

"God is Great [10w] God found me in a dumpster and made me holy."

"Adult Pretend [10w] "I'm tired of playing 'pretend';let's play 'get-real, bitch."

"When in Doubt [10w] If your relationship becomes stagnant,set fire to her dress."

"Poets, Shakespeare and Trash A poet must read equal amountsof trash and Shakespeare to learn how to distinguish between the two."

"My Sweet Home, Alabama If it grows, it sticks, if it crawls, it bites,if it's outside, it rusts,if it's ornery, it fights,if it's a dawg, it barks.if its a possum, it feignsif it's a buggy, it squeals,if it's winter, it's summer,If it's slimy, it's eels.If it ain't Dixie, it won't do,so let's fix to get piss drunkand lynch us another nigger and Jew."

"A Poem Must Have an Accomplice If you cannot bamboozle the reader into becoming a willing accomplice to your artifice and collusion the poem won't fly."

"Endless Childhood [10w] + {Couplet} Put off summer's endAnd adulthood's vexingburdens shall suspend."

"Children and Food [10w] Once children order like grown-upsfood's lost its sweet innocence."

"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Hill That's because my lawn is on a south-facing slope of the hill and more more open to sunlight and warm winds. It's dryer due to higher levels of evapotranspiration than my neighbor's greener north-facing slope.I'm not the least bit envious of the color of his greener grass.I'm just pissed that the prick owns a better piece of real estate."

"Beating the Language Like a Tom-Tom with a Mohawk "Actually, you will receive a free pre-owned gift with every purchase,irregardless of the awesome enormity of your stupidity."

"Wisconsin State Motto Forward.Leading the nation in drunk driving and Cheesehead hats."

"Opportunities Come a Knockin' [10w] Never miss the opportunity to fuck or write poetry."

"Overheard at McDonalds "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.Are you going to finish those fries?"