#positive-motivation

"Hung [10w] Being caught with your pants down is a hanging offense."

"Gray [10w] Since gray's the 'new black' things aren't black and white."

"Jew in a Canoe Haiku Jew in a canoe,whitewater rushes, the canoe tips.The Jew doesn't."

"Dare to love yourselfas if you were a rainbowwith gold at both ends."

"Dangerous Food [10w] The world's most fattening foods are the ones you swallow."

"Confucius vs. Confusion [10w] Confucius says if pussy smell like fish change the bait."

"again!"=""Perfect happiness is when your child giggles and yells,"Again!"

"Suicide It's ironic that suicide, an act of cowardice,requires you overcome the all powerful instinct of self-preservation ~and thereby it's transformed into an act of bravery.On the other hand, the survivors would argue, an act of stupidity ~which many acts of bravery ultimately are."

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"Let Others Speak [10w] When others speak of your virtues they grow tenfold."

"When people tell you that you are good for nothing, remember that God made the world from nothing and nothing can change into something anytime."

"Washington State Motto Al-Ki. [25]America's most rainy, PC and annoying state."

"Barnum & Bailey Circus: The Greatest Show on Earth... ...when you can't afford Cirque du Soleil."

"Love on Fire [10w] A man in love cannot see fire or smell smoke."

"Humble Wishes [10w] "God, all I simply ask is that I become perfect."

"Battered Women [5w] Battered womenare more crispy."

"Ranger Smith, Unemployement and the Possibility of Unperceived Existence If a tree falls in the forest and we're not there,do we fire the park ranger without making a sound?"

"Love in the Afterlife [10w] Maybe I'll love you in the afterlife.This life, fuhgeddaboudit."

"Journalist asks me whether I can sit down for an interview... Sorry, I can't talk now. I'm busy writing up a storm.How about tomorrow?Sorry, tomorrow I'm bust conjuring up a tornado."

"Sublime Beauty When I shut my eyes, I can move mountains.When I open them, mountains can move me."