#positive-motivation

"The Freedom Paradox [10w] The act of protecting freedom is a violation of freedom."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"Bonjour [10w] You're more obscure than first we met,"uttered with regret."

"What Women Think Women don't care if you got a six pack if you slurp you soup."

"Nursing Homes [10w] Nursing homes are house haunted by the living and half-dead."

"Ethical Dilemma of an Ascending Body [10w] + [10w] You can't ascend a ladderwithout rungs to push back;you can't climb a staircasewithout stairs to step on."

"Fame [10w] Fame has a funny way of rewriting your entire past."

"Herpes [10w] Only greatness and genital herpes are conspicuous by their absence."

"A-New-Year's-a-Comin' [10w] A new year is coming!Let's all make new mistakes!"

"Spontaneous Gift Giving [10w] Learn to give gifts spontaneously accompanied by a love note."

"Moment of Truth 'Moment of truth' is derived fromthe Spanish momento de la verdad, that Hemingway epiphanous moment when the matador is about to kill the bull. Now it means the moment you realize you won't make it back to the parking meter before it expires ~sometimes expressed as, Motherfucker!"

"2 Rules on Becoming a Good Poet [10w] Rule#1: Never write shitty poetry.Rule#2: Never forget Rule #1."

"The Warrior's Way To the warrior,peace is an annoying interruption of war."

"The Poet's Limitless Imagination [10w] The stringy shit from my goldfish turns him into a kite."

"Eyes of Heaven To see through the eyes of heavenis to look upon your fellow manand only see the good in him."

"Owlish [10w] If owls are wise,why are they flat faced fucks?"

"Southern Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Sure nuff, I'm happier than a cat on a formerly hot tin roofwhich now usesNXT Cool Zone® heat reflecting roof coating ~but I'm still ornier than a mule on loco weedand a whole lot hornier than a two-dicked billy goat.You gots any coatin' for dat?"

"Preachiness vs. Prose vs. Poetry A poem that says what it means is prose;if it means what it says it's a sermon.Leave the homiletics for the priestsprose for the journalistsand soulful resonancefor the poets."

"New Year's Resolutions New Year's resolutions shouldn't be about doing new things;it should be about stopping to do the shitty things you're already doing."

"Oy Vey Haiku (g)Nat's sphincter clenched.The skinhead asked, 'You a Jew?Minyan's one man short."