#positive-outlook

"From the Slobodan Milošević interview during the the Hague Tribunal : 'What are your hobbies?' [10w] "I enjoy gardening because weeding reminds me of ethnic cleansing."

"Lost Love [10w] + {Couplet} Lost love's the season of mists,Though they are gone, memory persists."

"Selfies [10w] Selfies allows you instant gratification and reminiscence all at once."

"Rules of Etiquette [10w] Rules of etiquette are pretend manners for the lower classes."

"Dysfunctional Love We split up not because he or she didn't love us,but because they did love us in the only way they knew how."

"Love's Reward [10w] + {Couplet} Love repaid is love's reward;recompense fair towards being adored."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"Oy Vey Haiku (g)Nat's sphincter clenched.The skinhead asked, 'You a Jew?Minyan's one man short."

"Immortality [10w] True immortality means you've created something that will outlive you."

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"Prolific [10w] "Perhaps I'm prolific because I believe creativity can forestall death."

"Lady Gaga Haiku A cow has a big head, deep voice, a long tongue, butLady Gaga he's not."

"A Tad Old Fashioned [10w] "Save all your sighing and swooning for the 18th Century, bitch."

"Imaginary Friends [10w] My imaginary friend insulted me by calling me real."

"Soulmate [10w] When you meet your soulmate,God's walked into the room."

"The Written Word The only thing I hold dearer than myself(and my moms, yo') ~is the written word.I'd give my life for that bitch, (yo'.)"

"Perfect Sex [10w] Perfects sex balances the conflicting pleasures of submission and mastery."

"Area 51 [20w] If aliens were truly looking for intelligent life on earth,what the fuck were they thinking going to New Mexico?"

"Fat Bungee Jumpers When I watch a fat woman bungee jumpI swear I can feel the earth leaving its orbit."

"Persistence If persistence is the foundation of all success, how come persistent liars and nags aren't more successful?"