#powerful-story

"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Hill That's because my lawn is on a south-facing slope of the hill and more more open to sunlight and warm winds. It's dryer due to higher levels of evapotranspiration than my neighbor's greener north-facing slope.I'm not the least bit envious of the color of his greener grass.I'm just pissed that the prick owns a better piece of real estate."

"Chase vs. Choose Happiness If you chase after happiness, it may escape you.If you choose happiness, it may take your house away.Both chasing and choosing have their hazards ~but they're less risky than waiting for happiness to find you.Remember, happiness is a lazy ass motherfuckerthat doesn't go on search and rescue missions."

"Comfort Zone Your comfort zone has a clock on it, ticking off until it becomes your death zone."

"Hate Recycle Bin When you empty your hate recycle binit frees up more memory to write even better poetry.Just try it and tell me this isn't true!"

"You're My Favorite' If you want all your children to know they're your favorite,give them all the same nameand whisper this confession in all their earswith the promise not to telltheir brothers and sisters."

"Family [10w] Family is a truth pill ~ just beware of an overdose."

"Fashion [10w] Clothes makes the man.Fashion, above all, makes the President."

"Iowa Haiku "We're not really dull,we are just misunderstood.Weed helps dull the pain."

"Cutthroat Competition [10w] If competition becomes cutthroatit suggests business has become piracy."

"Did He Do the Right Thing? I walked out of the room. I did not stay to watch my beloved draw her last breath because I didn't want all my magical memories of her tainted by the profanity of death."

"Buddha (Haiku) Buddha, Enlightened,I rub your belly to blessmy Lotto ticket."

"Virtual Reality [10w] Bliss is a virtual-reality headset coupled with a virtual-reality hooker software."

"Brownie Mix [10w] + {Couplet} Betwixt hell and the River Styx,I'll be shitting bricks."

"Nebraska State Motto Equality before the law.Where Monsanto/GMO corn is above the law."

"Flattery [10w] Flattery is the only passport that will get you everywhere"

"Hypocrisy [10w] Religion without hypocrisy doesn't exist;that's man's imperfection, not God's."

"Optimists vs. Death [10w] Optimists are hopeful people who see a coffin as half-full."

"Wine [10w] American wines tasting as good as French wines are presumptuous."

"Doublemint Gum: Double your pleasure. Double your fun... ...we're talking ménage à trois, you son of a gun."

"Ringtones Haiku 'Oy! Dai, da-ye-nu,Dai, da-ye-nu, Dai, da-ye-nu...'"Answer your fucking phone!"