#quote

"Words of Wisdom [10w] Words of wisdom worth saying wouldfit on a T-shirt.@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@­:::::"

"Straight Men vs. Curved Women [10w] 'Straight' men who approach 'curved' women must'mind the gap'."

"Chase vs. Choose Happiness If you chase after happiness, it may escape you.If you choose happiness, it may take your house away.Both chasing and choosing have their hazards ~but they're less risky than waiting for happiness to find you.Remember, happiness is a lazy ass motherfuckerthat doesn't go on search and rescue missions."

"Keep Your Day Job Bitch [10w] + {Couplet} If you've guessed that I'm blessed,augury ain't your strawberry."

"Beating the Language Like a Tom-Tom with a Mohawk "Actually, you will receive a free pre-owned gift with every purchase,irregardless of the awesome enormity of your stupidity."

"The Warrior's Way To the warrior,peace is an annoying interruption of war."

"I hope your heart feels better. I hope your mind is set right.I hope your love is connected to others, and you don't feel so lost and locked up.I hope everything is okay for you. And by okay, I mean greater than ever."

"Love in the Afterlife [10w] Maybe I'll love you in the afterlife.This life, fuhgeddaboudit."

"Crest Toothpaste: Look, Ma, no cavities!... ...that'll really piss off the TSA agents looking for contraband."

"Don’t Let the Dead Fish Fool You [10w] Even the eyes of a dead fish can reflect light."

"My Sweet Home, Alabama If it grows, it sticks, if it crawls, it bites,if it's outside, it rusts,if it's ornery, it fights,if it's a dawg, it barks.if its a possum, it feignsif it's a buggy, it squeals,if it's winter, it's summer,If it's slimy, it's eels.If it ain't Dixie, it won't do,so let's fix to get piss drunkand lynch us another nigger and Jew."

"Some Semblance of Such "To lose one's identity to a Doppelgänger may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose multiple identities speaks of Nabakov."

"Dysfunctional vs. You're One Fucked Up Bitch [10w] "Causing pain's the only way you know how to love."

"Relationships Deconstrcted [10w] Qualities we at first perceive as endearingsoon becomes annoying."

"Charity [10w] Contentment over your life is the best aphrodisiac for charity."

"Life is like a game of chess.To win you have to make a move.Knowing which move to make comes with IN-SIGHTand knowledge, and by learning the lessons that areacculated along the way.We become each and every piece within the game called life!"

"I'm Not Skidaddling Down That Slippery Slope First you let sleeping dogs lie,next you allow all pets to prevaricate."

"Casualties of War The casualties of war are far, far morethan those lying dead on the battlefield floor."

"Creation "I shake my fist and there's bang.Stars sift like sand through my fingers;each swirl of my wrist a galaxy,every kiss imbued with a bit of me."

"Control [10w] Don't lose control by imagining you can control your lover."