#relationships

"Marriage [10w] The only thing better than forgiveness in marriage is forgetfulness."

"Pussy Whipped I was pussy whipped with four lashes.It was a helluva threesome ~but I still can't get the damn mascara off my one-eyed snake."

"We must make love to find out how it’s made. I don’t know what the ingredients are, but I think we can make a batch or two by morning."

"Promising vs. Promises A promising life comes from a childhood without broken promises."

"❞ [10w] "Let's cuddle like a quotation mark filling a blank page."

"Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight."

"Entrepreneurs [10w] A man should be judged by the companyhe sells."

"Men Be Forewarned! [20w] A man caught in the embrace of the wrong womanis like having his penis caught in a bear trap."

"Proclaim your pride and bitterness loudly to the world, but to me speak softly, and tell me simply that she doesn't love you."

"A family man shouldn't trade his peace for profits, it is the job of a businessman."

"What we wait around a lifetime for with one person, we can find in a moment with someone else."

"I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together."

"There are only four times a year I love you: summer, fall, winter, and spring. I'll love you until the sun stops shining, until the clouds dissipate, when Mount Everest no longer has snow, and the flowers stop blooming.-Jarod Kintz and Karen Quan"

"The Hand that Feeds You Don't bite the hand that feeds you ~unless you're in a haunted houseand the fucking hand isn't attached to anything."

"She needed the chaos within her in order to discover the extraordinary no man could ever reach."

"I loved you because there was no other place for me to go. We were married because we did not know what else to do with each other. You never knew me, nothing about me, what died inside me, what lived invisibly."

"Politicians [10w] All politicians serve two masters ~their ambition and their cocks."

"Accurs'd McDonalds, I Bite my Thumb at Thee! {Couplet} Let vex'd heavens rant and rage,This here McNigga slave ain't workin' for no McMinimum wage."

"Frivolous Gossip and Poetry It's just so much frivolous gossip to dwell upon the moral merits of a poet;what should only concern the reader is the merit of his words.Leave moral judgments to the preachers and aesthetic judgments to the critical readers."

"My advice to aspiring writers is to read more, write more, and network more. More, more, and more. Then, after you've done all that, do it some more."