#relationships

"A Note from Time Management [10w] Our time machine's temporarily out of order. Come back yesterday."

"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."

"I'm done. I don't need anything more out of life. I have you, and that's enough."

"Mocking a woman is like drinking too much wine. It may be fun for a short time, but the hangover is hell."

"We've lost a lot of years, but you can't lose love. Not real love. It stays locked inside you, ready for whenever you are strong enough to find it again."

"Heart My heart jumps every time you walk through the door.It's not love.I have an arrhythmia."

"Don't Quit ❣ Don't quit on love and it won't bail on you."

"My Secret for Out-of-the-Box-Thinking To help me writein my signature out-of-the-box style,I sit in front of my humidifier that I've filled up with Grey Goose vodka.My humidifier is now at Underwriters Laboratoriesin a 12-Step Programand buddied up with a de-humidifier."

"Women were excited after sex, wired becasue in their minds the relationship was on beginning. Men went to sleep m the because for the orgasm had arrived and the relationship was done."

"Rainbows and Gratuitous Violence Whenever I see a rainbow, I want to punch a penguin in the face."

"The Machismo Motto [10w] "When we are not hard as nails we get screwed."

"I just...I just miss him. And I hate being so alone."

"How could I be sleeping with this particular man.... Surely only true love could justify my lack of taste."

"Boasting vs. Toasting [10w] + {Couplet} What many call boasting to my success I call toasting."

"Control [10w] Don't lose control by imagining you can control your lover."

"Sublime Beauty When I shut my eyes, I can move mountains.When I open them, mountains can move me."

"Keep Austin Weird Haiku Neck dragon tattoo, piercings, purple haired kindergarten teacher.Keep Austin weird."

"The true measure of a man is how he treats you when others are not looking."

"She’s twelve hours in the future, and exactly half a world away. No matter how hard I try, I will always be a part of her past."

"He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family—especially when they’re great."