#sacred

"Frivolous Gossip and Poetry It's just so much frivolous gossip to dwell upon the moral merits of a poet;what should only concern the reader is the merit of his words.Leave moral judgments to the preachers and aesthetic judgments to the critical readers."

"Jew in a Canoe Haiku Jew in a canoe,whitewater rushes, the canoe tips.The Jew doesn't."

"Time is Not a Constant [10w] Time speeds up, crawls, compresses and expands depending on mood."

"Say No to Drugs Commercials The image of an egg sizzling in a frying pan is not your brain on drugs.It's just a fucking omelet."

"Doldrums People who live in the doldrumscan't throw caution to the wind."

"Having Words with Words [10w] ”I’ve had a falling out with words,leaving me speechless."

"The Bard's Haikus about Haiku Listen to Shakespeare,'Iambic pentameterand haiku don't mix.'A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise mannever writes haiku.If you tickle usdon't we laugh? If you wrong usshall we not haiku?The good men dolives after them; the evil'sinterred with haikus.Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some scribblesome shitty haikus."

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"Ruminating Poetry A poem should be eaten in one sittingbut regurgitated often like a ruminant's food."

"Death Has Bad Timing Death has bad timingbecause rigor mortis sets into your penisjust when you don't fucking need it."

"California Milk Processor Board: Got Milk?... ...cuz I got a fucking hangover."

"Closets Opening and Closing [10w] + [10w] You can take sweet gay men out of the closet;you can't take the closet out of the master-bedroom suite."

"Suicide Note [10w] "Don't ask why I committed suicide.Question why everybody doesn’t."

"Six Minus Three Degrees of Stupidation [10w] Three degrees of stupid:stupidstupid squaredstupid stupid stupid"

"Confucius vs. Confusion [10w] Confucius says if pussy smell like fish change the bait."

"Wrong Number [10w] There is no such thing as dialing a wrong number."

"Politicians [10w] All politicians serve two masters ~their ambition and their cocks."

"Deadly Sex Haiku Each thrust of his cockwas another coffin nailhammered in my heart."

"Bruges Belgium Haiku Behind a stack of grey Lego bricksyou wheeze up Belfry's 366 stepsand don't see a single bat."

"Thank You Dick Wolf [10w] TV crime shows taught me it’s best to lawyer up."