#self-improvement

"Clairol: Does she or doesn't she... ...take it up the ass."

"Gold Diggers are Always at Two Weddings A gold digger's eyes are searching for her next husband at her wedding."

"Confucius vs. Confusion [10w] Confucius says if pussy smell like fish change the bait."

"Acknowledgement is possession. When you acknowledge, think or have conviction in something, it actually will come true."

"Prickly Pears [10w] Men are often like cactus fruits ~thorny outside,mushy inside."

"Eyes of Heaven To see through the eyes of heavenis to look upon your fellow manand only see the good in him."

"Barnum & Bailey Circus: The Greatest Show on Earth... ...when you can't afford Cirque du Soleil."

"Moment of Truth 'Moment of truth' is derived fromthe Spanish momento de la verdad, that Hemingway epiphanous moment when the matador is about to kill the bull. Now it means the moment you realize you won't make it back to the parking meter before it expires ~sometimes expressed as, Motherfucker!"

"River Mountain Ocean [10w] + [10w] + {Couplet} Rivers delight in their flow;Mountains savor their snow.But oceans are in concurrencetheir contentment comes from recurrence."

"Cleverness vs. Crime [10w] Being caught's the only difference between cleverness and crime."

"Optimists vs. Death [10w] Optimists are hopeful people who see a coffin as half-full."

"Celebrity [10w] Celebrity is an insignificant zit on the surface of history."

"Mmm Mmm Good Gimmick Campbell's Soup announced todayit's introducing 'QWERTY' soupfor our more computer literate children.Who are they kidding?They're just relabeling the old Alphabet Soup."

"there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument - and that is to avoid it ."

"Scientology [10w] There's nothing more oppressive than the ignorance of foolish belief."

"Depression vs. Death Depression is anger turned within causing misery and hopelessness.Death is hate turned within until it totally eats you alive."

"Poets and Competitiveness [10w] "I'm the only poet I need to be better than."

"Brownie Mix [10w] + {Couplet} Betwixt hell and the River Styx,I'll be shitting bricks."

"The Wonderful Wonder Between the 'Onenesses' [10w] + [10w] + [10w] + [10w] If you can imagine time running backwards, death becomes birth;The moment before conception, becomes our oneness with the universe.Therefore, we shouldn't fear death because oneness returns to oneness;The wonder that happens between these onenesses is God's gift."

"Unfriend Politeley Means"