#self-improvement

"You're Totally Fucked' Defined [10w] What's before you is hopeless and behind you is negligible."

"The way to be nothing is to do nothing"

"Hate [10w] Love cannot hate eradicate ~only a more ruthless hate can."

"Ruth Whither thou goest, I will go ~as long as it's to the mall.I heard Dillard's is having an 80% off sale!"

"Melting Icicles Haiku Drip, drip, Drip, drip, Drip:Sounds of melting iciclesannouncing the Spring"

"Russian, Metafizicheskiy-poshlost This is the humorous metaphysical banality like watching Tolstoy's wife, Sophia, nag her husband about leaving borscht stains on the table linen. The resulting discombobulation totally messed up the ending of Anna Karenina."

"Where the Fuck is Waldo Even whens I finds Waldothat crackhead nigga won't cough up the five dollars he owes me."

"Mmm Mmm Good Gimmick Campbell's Soup announced todayit's introducing 'QWERTY' soupfor our more computer literate children.Who are they kidding?They're just relabeling the old Alphabet Soup."

"Unconditional Love [10w] If you're not giving unconditional love,you're offering conditional hate."

"Heartbreak [10w] Heartbreak’s like a heart attack but without the hospital bills."

"How Much Space? {Couplet} Give a lover space enough to rejoice in their choice,but not enough room for their doubts to give voice."

"La Récolteuse de la Mort Je suis la Récolteuse de la Mort et ~vous êtes ce que je viens pour les!"

"❞ [10w] "Let's cuddle like a quotation mark filling a blank page."

"ESL New immigrantswho've taken ESL (English as a Second Language),will always misunderstand sarcasm ~but those fuckers sure as shit enjoy the prices at Walmart."

"Got Hate? When a hater cozily whispers shit in your ear about them,what does that say about you?"

"Iran [10w] In Teheran daylight dawnswith minarets against skies of bronze."

"Miss Universe Contest Protest Haiku Fundamentalists protest Miss Universe contest.Go home, beat their wives."

"Hypocrisy [10w] Religion without hypocrisy doesn't exist;that's man's imperfection, not God's."

"Library [10w] Hopefully, the library in the afterlife doesn't contain contemporary poetry."

"Feeling indifferent or reserved about doing something is a signal that it is probably not correct after all."