#soul-searching

"American Foreign Policy [10w] Foreign Policy requires dealing from the bottom of the deck."

"Gypsy When one gypsy spits on you, its disgusting;when two do, it's suspicious;when three do, you're late to a gypsy wedding."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"Dysfunctional Love We split up not because he or she didn't love us,but because they did love us in the only way they knew how."

"Off the Hook True story...A cop pulls me over for speeding.He says, "What's the hurry?"I say, "I'm running awayfrom a bad marriage."He laughs and says, "Drive carefully."The officer lets me go.Beyond the practical lesson thatmaking a policeman laugh may get you off the hook,there's a certain poetry here in the unexpected connection ~for what is a poemif not a moment of surpriseworth retelling."

"The Human Race Pleasure is the sprint.Contentment is the 5 mile.Happiness is the marathon."

"Poetry as Entertainment [10w] Poetry that's not entertaining is just a self-indulgent laundry list."

"The Pompous Psychopomp Its your charge to provide me safe passage to the afterlife,to be a midwife to my dying.Any yet, you hover there, judging me,putting on airs, you supercilious whip-poor-will.You're an embarrassment to nightjars everywhere.Now do your fucking job and take me to hell ~which I guess has already begun,judging by your shitty escort service."

"Great Poets [10w] Great poets can milk blood and tears from a stone."

"Man vs. Chimp Even chimpanzees are toolmakers,but only man has the unique honor of being a Godmaker."

"Grandma's Advice on Ambition "Children, if you aim for the stars you'll be impaled by small meteorites and become toast."

"Journalist asks me whether I can sit down for an interview... Sorry, I can't talk now. I'm busy writing up a storm.How about tomorrow?Sorry, tomorrow I'm bust conjuring up a tornado."

"Memories [10w] Spend half your life creating memories,the other half, remembering."

"Star No matter how bright the star, it's just part of a galaxy which is part of a constellation which is part of the night skywhich is part of the known universewhich is a speck of dust in God's eye."

"Origami Master If you're the greatest origami master in the worldmaybe I can find you a job folding napkins at a restaurant.I'm not making any promises."

"The Gypsy Jackpot An ambulance, a police car and a fire truck parked in front of a gypsy's trailer can only mean one thing ~ insurance scam!"

"Nevada Haiku 'Happens in Vegasstays in Vegas', long as youpay hos to shut up."

"Gradually Then Instantly [10w] We fall in love the way we lose our minds."

"Minimum Wage [10w] Even trained bears couldn't bear working for bare minimum wage."

"Premature Evacuation [10w] I've stopped all my relationships short,not unlike this poem."