#soul-searching

"Poetry and Dogs [10w] Poetry and dogs make the best companions.Don't trust dogs."

"If You Can't Think, You've No Right to Speak [10w] Our Constitution's guarantee of free speech specifically excludes fucking idiots."

"Whisper into My Good Ear [10w] "Pour your fears, fantasies, desires into my ear of corn."

"Virginia Haiku "Bowl of chili for me.She'll have the Cheesy Western.Both with, add a slab."

"National Rifle Association Credo [10w] God gave us two hands to holdan assault rifle."

"Ringtones Haiku 'Oy! Dai, da-ye-nu,Dai, da-ye-nu, Dai, da-ye-nu...'"Answer your fucking phone!"

"Seduction [10w] Seduction comes from our innate instincts for hunting and killing."

"Sometimes God is Drunk [10w] Satan's sudden appearance means God is on a drinking binge."

"Hidden [10w] A woman is an iceberg;we see less than 10%."

"I'm Not Talking About Fruitcake [10w] The greatest gifts are the ones that can be regifted."

"Out-of-the-Box [10w] I march to my own drummerin a drum circle."

"Opportunities Come a Knockin' [10w] Never miss the opportunity to fuck or write poetry."

"Ferdinand VII of Spain {Couplet} He who can false loyalty feignshall sit twice upon the throne of Spain."

"Where the Fuck is Waldo Even whens I finds Waldothat crackhead nigga won't cough up the five dollars he owes me."

"Informal HP Survey: Should Poetry Rhyme? O.K., readers, anybody who thinks poetry should rhymeplease tap your caneor jiggle your walker."

"Laughter and The Chosen [10w] Making people laugh is God's gift to the Chosen People."

"Today I Learned: Delete Today I learnedwhen you delete stuff on your computerit still resides on your hard drive.It's sort of like getting divorcedbut that bitch still lives in your house."

"Pain vs. Pleasure {Couplet} Pain and pleasure are nearly identical,the difference lies in their temporal perception.Pleasure feels fleeting, pain feels unending;both jolt us at the nerve's first inception."

"What One Vulture Said to the Other I have a bone to pick with you ~which end shall we start on?"

"Gold Diggers are Always at Two Weddings A gold digger's eyes are searching for her next husband at her wedding."