Beryl Dov

"ESL New immigrantswho've taken ESL (English as a Second Language),will always misunderstand sarcasm ~but those fuckers sure as shit enjoy the prices at Walmart."

"Shakespeare vs. Keynesian Economics {Couplet} If 'Neither a lender nor a borrower be',investments would dry up, economies stagnate,and off to the poorhouse go you and me."

"Suicide It's ironic that suicide, an act of cowardice,requires you overcome the all powerful instinct of self-preservation ~and thereby it's transformed into an act of bravery.On the other hand, the survivors would argue, an act of stupidity ~which many acts of bravery ultimately are."

"Let Others Speak [10w] When others speak of your virtues they grow tenfold."

"Crawling Backwards [10w] Crawling backwards is the hardwired wisdom of crabs and survivors."

"Journalist asks me whether I can sit down for an interview... Sorry, I can't talk now. I'm busy writing up a storm.How about tomorrow?Sorry, tomorrow I'm bust conjuring up a tornado."

"Thorn [5w] Every thorn has its rose."

"Hidden [10w] A woman is an iceberg;we see less than 10%."

"Hung [10w] Being caught with your pants down is a hanging offense."

"When in Doubt [10w] If your relationship becomes stagnant,set fire to her dress."

"Enigmatic Real Estate I choose to live on the edge of mysterywith its inscrutable view of complexityhedged by perplexity.Also, there's a Walmart nearby."

"Don't Mess with the Queen {Couplet} The first man harnessing the secrets of fireCannot compare with the revelation of your sovereign ire."

"Occam's Razor [10w] I shaved with Occam's razor and he shaved with mine."

"9/11 Haiku: Rudy Giuliani, Mayor of New York "Now you boxcutter, Iraqi Pete, camel fuckersreally pissed me off!"

"Paranoid Realist Perspective [10w] "I've conquered all my enemies except for the real ones."

"La Récolteuse de la Mort Je suis la Récolteuse de la Mort et ~vous êtes ce que je viens pour les!"

"Oppressor vs. Oppressed [10w] Love somtimes disintegrates into becoming the oppressor or the oppressed."

"Charity [10w] Contentment over your life is the best aphrodisiac for charity."

"Second Opinions My doctor told me I have pancreatic cancer and have 2 months to live.I asked him about getting a second opinion.The Doc said, 'No problem.'He thought for a second and said,'I think the Boston Red Sox are going to win the series again this year."

"Humble Wishes [10w] "God, all I simply ask is that I become perfect."