Dorothy Parker

"I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it."

"If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy."

"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."

"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common."

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."