Rita Rudner

"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."

"A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe."

"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."

"I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious."

"There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better."