Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Dawn

"Life sucks, and then you die..."

"Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool."

"Life sucks, and then you die.Yeah, I should be so lucky."

"I know - I'll play you for it,"Alice suggested. "Rock, paper, scissors."Jasper chuckled and Edward sighed."Why don't you just tell me who wins?"Edward said wryly.Alice beamed. "I do. Excellent."

"Did you know that 'I told you so' has a brother,Jacob?"she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up'."

"You nicked-named my daughter after the Lock Ness Monster!"

"Life sucks, and then you die..."