More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I hate the smell of success, because most of the time it smells like sweat. Maybe that’s why I’m poor, because every pore on my body is dry."
"My hobbies include rubbing my nipples across a cheese grater, meeting cat ladies on Tinder, and voting for either Democrat or Republican every four years. You could say I am a torture enthusiast."
"Just when you thought you’d considered all the angles, life goes from a square to a cube. Love should also be 3D."
"My hands could be considered deadly weapons. You see, I write with both of them."
"Is your Happy Meal full of dancing? Put a box around it and sell it to kids. They could use the exercise."