"I don’t know the kind of person I’ll be tomorrow, but I’ll be able to look back on yesterday and ask “What was that guy’s problem?” The future is full of condescending jerks."
"Nothing else matters now that you love me.' - suicide note"
"Unrequited love is the only possible way to give yourself to another without being held in indentured servitude."
"Love your wife, your servant and your enemy equally, and file her credit card bills under the ‘enemy’ folder."
"Bachelorhood: all the fun of married life and more prosperity, leaving lots of descendants to boast of their father’s memory to their fellow inmates."
"Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?"