"App idea: in real time track trends as swarms of keywords form, and use this data to invest in the next unicorn #startup.You'll be able to ride that #startup unicorn like you are Billy the Kid, as you watch your profits shoot up."
"Be memorable. Say something unforgettable. Be silent."
"Dogs have four legs, just like chairs. I would take mine for a walk, but I’m sitting on it."
"She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “No need to get sexual with me.” I’m a bring my own elevator kind of lover anyway."
"The size of your sighs tell how deeply you’re in love. How I feel is very much like a stressed and distressed midget trying to breathe."
"Her and I, we have a two chairs and a table kind of love. You should pull up a feeling and have a seat."