"App idea: in real time track trends as swarms of keywords form, and use this data to invest in the next unicorn #startup.You'll be able to ride that #startup unicorn like you are Billy the Kid, as you watch your profits shoot up."
"When tragedy hits close to home, like your neighbor’s house, it really makes you stop and think. And while you’re thinking, I’ll be speeding off in the getaway car."
"If you find yourself thirsting for my love, don’t forget that I sell straws in a variety of flavors. What is the price of romance? Good question. Today only it’s on sale for half-off wholesale prices. Everything must go. My entire inventory of straws is being liquidated."
"I sell soap. Buy two bars and get a FREE shower. (Water not included.) Act within the next 15 minutes and I’ll even throw in the towel. I quit!"
"I’ll mark up my services 200%, and then offer them to you at a 50% discount—because I like you so much. That’s the Mother-in-law Discount."
"I don't understand people who say they need more "Me Time."What other time is there? Do these people spend part of their day in someone else's body?"