More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"He’s right-handed, so I told him to draw his self-portrait with his left hand, because it’d look so ugly it’d look realistic. Since he’s a DC politician, I figured a little reality was needed in his life."
"A radio in a song in an ice cream cone. Two licks for free, and the third is for sale. My favorite flavor tastes like a commercial, because it’s made with 100% natural advertisement."
"My hands could be considered deadly weapons. You see, I write with both of them."
"I sell soap. Buy two bars and get a FREE shower. (Water not included.) Act within the next 15 minutes and I’ll even throw in the towel. I quit!"
"If I waste all my charity, all I’ll wind up with in the end is the wind. Still, I think I want to be the Dandelion of Love."