Don't look at me in that tone of voice. - Dorothy Parker

"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."

"By the time you swear you're his,Shivering and sighing.And he vows his passion is,Infinite, undying.Lady make note of this --One of you is lying."

"The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back."

"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."[Interview, The Paris Review, Summer 1956]"

"If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)"