Don't look at me in that tone of voice. - Dorothy Parker

"If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy."

"Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both."

"If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)"

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."

"I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid."