Don't look at me in that tone of voice. - Dorothy Parker

"The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back."

"If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)"

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."

"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."[Interview, The Paris Review, Summer 1956]"

"The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires."