Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody e... - Will Rogers

"I never met a man that I didn't like."

"Even if you are on the right track, but just sit there, you will still get run over."

"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock."

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."