"Finger food, is that food you eat with your fingers, or is that where you eat your fingers? I’m starving, but I also want to play the piano, so I need to know."
"I belong, and my penis, it be long."
"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."
"The goodbad news is she only stole half. The badgood news is she stole half. And when it’s love that’s been stolen, a hole the size of half your heart feels like the whole thing has been taken."
"I’m half chameleon, half camouflage, and wholly in love with you, though you’d never be able to see it."
"To be invisible, paint yourself with the direct shade of zero. Leave nothing to chance, by taking nothing with you wherever you go."