Hotel hallways should have conveyer belts for floors, so I c... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My heart can hold all the love you give me. If you need to quantify it to properly price it for sale, it would be one gallon."

"Love now, not later. Also, love later."

"If what you wear says more about who you are then what you say when you speak, then my advice is to keep quiet and wear loud clothing."

"Lightning doesn’t thunder twice. Let that be a lesson in love."

"Man has two legs and chairs have four, because we were made to stand out, not sit down—or be sat on. You are your brand—you are not a piece of furniture. Well, this applies to everyone except my grandma, but she’s dead, so she really doesn’t mind being used as a coat rack."