"How to duplicate yourself: hang out with the same people and say the same things all the time. The you of today is a clone of the you from yesterday."
"I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance."
"My cat is ignorant of the law. But then so am I. That means I am not his master, because we are both slaves."
"My feet are dense with dance. I move like I’m wearing concrete boots and I’m trying to tread water. If the music is salsa, I may start gargling."
"I’ll be your Dostoevsky, if you’ll be my Tolstoy. Our life together will be so full of despair that death will be like a gulag full of joy."
"I count as blessings things I could have benefited from, even if I neglected to utilize them. A gift is still a gift, even if left wrapped and unopened."