"I coiled my empty straw wrapper around like a snake. Then I bit it before it could bite me. My love is as dangerous as my drinking habits."
"Nobody peels a banana before stabbing themselves with it. But that’s exactly how I love—dangerously."
"Leave me with my leftover meatloaf and my Yesterday Sandwich. I’ll be in love tomorrow, if you come back with the ketchup."
"Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose."
"I had to hand it to him, leaving the empty glove lying on the bed was an apt metaphor for love. Two things I can say about my grandpa are that he is wise, and his left hand is probably cold."
"Love is like a river flowing through your heart. I’ll bring the boat, if you bring the bridge."