I don’t want my love with her to wither like grapes on a vin... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"People don’t buy products—they buy people. It’s called slavery. I mean networking. It’s called networking."

"I'm the kind of guy who puts other people first. Particularly if there’s danger up ahead. Now I’m not saying I’m any more cowardly than the next man, unless that next man is any other man besides my clone."

"Standing in the kitchen when you’re hungry is torture. That’s why I moved my fridge to my dungeon, where I keep the prisoners."

"The roses of romance grow when you water your relationship with gratitude. Love will bloom and blossom when you recognize the awesome."

"I love when my cat crushes his forehead into mine like my skull is an empty beer can. But it’s not—there’s still a sip left."