"I just got done digging a hole shaped like a human body. But I have no idea what to bury. I’ll probably hide all my love for you, like I would with any other treasure."
"The word long is short, and so is the word short, but why is the word love as long as long? Shouldn’t it be longer?"
"I wrote you a love letter. I used invisible ink to show I was being transparent with my feelings. And also to hide my feelings."
"Every morning I push through the pain—and force myself to keep sleeping, despite my aching body’s cries to quit. I am a champion."
"I just invented a hug machine. It’s solar powered so you can use it when you feel depressed, like on a cloudy day. Shit."
"The size of your sighs tell how deeply you’re in love. How I feel is very much like a stressed and distressed midget trying to breathe."