More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills."
"Everyone’s different, and in that way everyone’s the same. Stand out by sitting down. Try my love seat—it’s made for two people, so you can be comfortably obese."
"I’m giving a free concert tonight. Seating is limited, so bring your own toilet. While there is no admission price, if you bring 100 dollars, it’s like a roll of toilet paper."
"Once you finish having sex, what is there to do but start over?"
"We had a lavender kind of love, so soothing and smooth, and if I could bottle up what we had, you'd want it all over your body."